Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
