I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
my sisters under your porch take her home
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize