you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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