Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
