That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
