the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
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As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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