Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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