The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
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