That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize
