Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
