Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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