I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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