My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
