The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
