All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
