i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
