Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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