Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
