She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
so much tequila, so little girl.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
