Nicole vs. Life
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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