The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
