I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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