There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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