You're so nebulous sometimes
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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