She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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