so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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