(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
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