I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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