he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize