The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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