I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
