I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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