marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
