New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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