I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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