Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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