So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
nutella sex= disaster
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
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