Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
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