at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Randomize