and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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