You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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