conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
