never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize