Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
