you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
