I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
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