Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
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