She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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