sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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