You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
