The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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