Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
