Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
