we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize