You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Bring me that man meat
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
