so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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