Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
