Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
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