sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
