Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
