There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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